You know what?

11:01 PM

I'm proud over myself. This is more of a personal note to myself.

Despite the horrific panic attack I had today I'm very proud over myself. I'm proud I got out of bed, I'm proud I finally handed in my math test, I'm proud that I attended school, I'm proud over what has happened today. I spent the last 3 hours in agony, telling myself that I've fucked up and I'm gonna continue feeling bad. No, one panic attack does not define who I am today. What has happened has happened and it's ok, I face it. Everything is ok and everything will be ok, don't worry - a note to myself.

I dont think I'm going to get much sleep tonight but I'll try my hardest to fall asleep, cast away the horrible thoughts that have been bugging me. My thoughts and paranoid imagination will not ruin my grades, I'll get up and just do what I have to. I'll wake up in time, I'll focus with all of my might and I will strive for that A. That specific A will not matter in a few years, but it is what matter for me right now and I will fight for it. Now please, calm down and take some few breaths. Get a glass of water to relax and change into your pyjamas, it's time to travel to dream world. May it be a dream as well as a nightmare, I'll get over it in the morning and get my mind back on track. I hope all of you can feel that I'm not in my best mood right now. But I will be tomorrow, for now I'm leaving you with a goodnight and a lot of hugs. Thank you once again. 

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♡ Be kind ♡