Tuesday 31st JAN 2017

9:40 PM

So today was a pretty ok day, it had it's up and downs. I ran late for school, couldn't sleep the night before so ended up just snoozing my alarm clock. Which is a bad habit of mine that I'm trying to get rid of. Got up, picked up a pretty okay outfit and wore the new jacket that I got from my grandmother. Apparently it was my grandmas, my mothers and now mine. It's still in excellent quality so I was surprised when I heard that.

Also here's todays song. Rag'n'Bone Man - Skin.

Anyhow, I'm glad I got to have the conversation I've been longing for a while with my dear friend of mine. It worked out quite okay and my anxiety has easened, so that's a big + for this day. It's funny that I had something to look forward to during the schoolday which was; getting home and getting some decent sleep, and publishing a new post. I've been enjoying this much more that I should actually and it doesn't feel bad at all.

Another topic I want to bring up is relationships, I haven't been in many ones. There's this one guy that has been crushing on me for a long time now, he's a nice guy and I haven't friendzoned him at all actually. He's a wonderful person, but the fact that he want's me to be in a relationship with him just feels wierd. There's something about a relationship that makes me feel weird, being consistenly with one person all the time, putting so much out for them... I think I'd rather do that for my friends. Hugging, laughing, lunch dates, watching movies together, opening up, crying and so much more. It's not exclusive to a romantic relationship, so I don't get why I am pressured to be in one by all of my friends. And when I do tell someone that I don't have any interest in a relationship, I get made to feel bad about it.

So I have mixed feelings about it... 

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♡ Be kind ♡